Lights, camera, action: Hollywood lights for Jersey’s Bridge-Gate

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By Joey Novick

Habitual Prank Productions of Los Angeles has purchased the film rights to the “Bridgegate” story. Joshua Hensfeather will direct and Malcolm Prinsley will ink the script.

They last worked together for the film version of the Ironbound Theater Company’s original sequel to “Fiddler on the Roof,” “What, We’re Moving Again??!!,” which starred tenor Hector Rodriguez as Tevye.

The film is set to begin filming in and around Toronto this fall. The Christie Administration would not grant Habitual Prank Productions their needed film permits nor offer any tax incentives to film in the Garden State.

“We are disappointed, but understand where Christie is coming from,” said director Hensfeather. “We will make do with Toronto locations; and use CGI [computer-generated imagery] for the actual George Washington Bridge.”

“Toronto has many bridges but none look like the GW Bridge,” said Chuckie Hoedgson, the location scout for Habitual Prank Productions, “So, we will have to CGI it.”

Thus far Jeff Garlin (“Curb Your Enthusiasm”) will play Chris Christie; Jon Lovitz (“Saturday Night Live” and “A League of Their Own”) as David Wildstein; and Amy Poehler (“Parks and Recreation”) as Bridget Anne Kelly.

It is rumored that Doris Roberts (“Everybody Loves Raymond”) will cameo as Senator Loretta Weinberg; with David Strathairn (“Good Night and Good Luck”) as Assemblyman John S. Wisniewski.

“It’s a great cast, and we have a compelling story to tell of corruption, traffic, money and power — all at the core of New Jersey,” added Hensfeather.

Editor’s note: In answer to the question in the headline, yes, this is crazy, a total spoof generated by whatexitnj.com — the website of the satire and comedy group that bills itself as “New Jersey’s Most Trusted News Source for almost a 50th of a Quarter Century.” Joey Novick is an attorney who is also a standup comedian, appearing on Comedy Central, at Catch a Rising Star in Princeton, and at many other venues.

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